The Ultimate Sacrifice

Naturally, after the passing of Jane, my mind has been running non stop with questions, battling with what has happened, and constantly reminding myself that God’s plan never returns void (Romans 8:28). I was also reminded of the story in Daniel where Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were tested but in the end they proclaimed that no matter what the outcome was they would never bow down to the gods and idols, they would only worship and give glory to the one true God (Daniel 3:16-18).

So, as I ponder these truths and work them in my mind over and over again I still feel the deepest pain imagineable with Jane not being here by my side. I dream about life with her, how wonderful it was, and how peaceful I felt. Life with Jane was simpler. I realized what was important and how many things didn’t even matter. I mean, Daniel and I took cold showers for a month in Stanford because the water never got hot. We asked them to fix it, but it never happened. I wore the same 3 pants and shirts over and over. Now I’m not saying we all haven’t been there. In fact I’m sure all mothers and fathers can vouch for the sacrifices they make for their children- ours weren’t any greater…my point that I’m coming to is that we all make sacrifices and I just finally realized that my life was so much better when I started focusing on the Lord; that a life for Christ is so much more fulfilling. Paul writes in Romans 12: I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

With the Passover approaching I cant help but think about God sacrificing His own Son and me having to give up Jane to the Lord. In no way am I comparing the sacrifices because giving up Jane doesnt even come close….God willingly sacrificed His son and, quite frankly, I would never have willingly gave up Jane. What I do know, though, is that God willingly gave up His son for me, to gift me with salvation and because of this I cant help but fall on the Lord and know that He loves me so much and will not forsake me. So now, Lord, I ask that if you would only take away a part of this pain that pierces my heart I would be grateful.


5 comments on “The Ultimate Sacrifice

  1. marilyn shadr on said:

    Such beautiful words, I pray that our Lord & Savior answers your prayer (&mine) and takes away your pain, that you are comforted by His word & that you continue to seek & trust in Him.

  2. I will often think of the Romans 8:28 passage as a reminder to myself but I find it difficult to offer up to someone else when they are in the middle of something I’ve never been though.
    Earlier in the week I was reading that passage and the thing that I took away from the passage we’re the verses leading up to verse 28

    This is from the NLT

    26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.
    27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.

    As we pray for you, we’re sometimes at a loss on exactly how and what to pray for seeing as I cannot fathom the intensity of the situation.
    Even in that situation, God knows when we are too overwhelmed to articulate our feelings, hopes or desires.

  3. Mike O on said:

    What a beautiful post Fetha, food for thought going into the Paska Holiday.

  4. After my Father died – I felt the same, wishing that the pain would go away. Desperate for relief, just for a while. The reality of it. The finality. No opportunity to say anything or fix anything. Almost two years later…when moments or hours or even half a day pass and I don’t feel sad, or cry,, or think of him – the feeling that I am forgetting him overwhelms me.. Almost as if I feel guilty to stop mourning him. It’s like I want to stop aching but I’m scared if I do, I’ll forget him. Funny how us humans are. But truth is, he wouldntt want me or anyone to cry and lie in darkness distraught over him. He would want me to rejoice that he is no longer suffering in his fleshly body. He is at rest, and at peace and I believe that. I believe Jane is also at rest and not in any discomfort. She was so lucky to have such devoted parents, truthfully! Working in the ER, I see so many “caregivers” come in with sick children, where are the parents? You two are precious, loving parents. I know our pains do not compare – but I feel for you Elisabeth! I don’t think anyone could say the right words to take your pain away, only God’s time and your patience with yourself. Allowing yourself to go through what you need to. Love you.

    I love you so so much!

  5. Mom K on said:

    Dear Elisabeth, The Psalm and your words were heartfelt. God taking Jane from you is devastating! Gods will was not what you or i wanted or expected. Jane had endured so much in her short little life. Open heart surgery, tubes, suctions, blood tranfusions and all the different medications, and you know everything she went thru, but God didnt want sweet Jane to suffer anymore. Jane always came thru, but she grew tired. Precious Jane is resting now and at peace and being well taken care of. May you and Daniel find peace soon. I know its very hard for the two of you, its hard for us and we werent there like yous were 24/7 for 7 weeks. God Bless you with comfort and give you strength. We Love You, Pop & Mom

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*


*

33,478 Spam Comments Blocked so far by Spam Free Wordpress

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>