Day Seven: What To Say

If I haven’t said it enough…forgetting Jane is my biggest fear. Not that I will forget Jane, but those around me forgetting Jane, forgetting her struggle, forgetting the impact she had on our community as we gathered in prayer, forgetting how precious she is that God welcomed her home, forgetting that she is my first, sweet daughter, forgetting her beautiful face… So, avoiding the “topic” isn’t helping me move forward.

1. When all else fails and you don’t know what to say, just be genuine. A simple hug, a reminder that Jane is remembered is sufficient.

2. Ask questions. Keep in mind that I am thinking about Jane every minute of every day. If I cry because I felt loved or encouraged, don’t feel bad. That’s probably not the first time I cried that day and your words didn’t spark my thoughts or emotions. They are always at the surface…waiting to come out.

3. The most encouraging words that anyone has ever shared with me was the reminder that I WILL see Jane and be with her again. I was challenged to imagine meeting her again…when she runs up to me and says, “Mama, tell me what you did while I was away”… how unfortunate it would be if all I could answer her was that I mourned her death. Instead, I want to be able to tell her all the ways I glorified God.

Here is a link that has great information:

http://www.hopeforthemourning.com/What-can-I-say-to-grieving-parents.aspx

 

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